Jaunting Jesters
September 4, 1998
Rick Chester Writes to Amazon.com
To Whom it May Concern:
I Love books. The only thing I love more than books may be chicken quesadillas (ah, yum!) and sock monkeys. Anyway, I was so impressed with your company that I was getting ready to buy 37 shares of Amazon Dot Com last week. I probably still will. But I have a question that I'd like answered before I plunk down my wad of cashola and become an obviously significant stockholder.
It was 3:00 a.m. and I woke up in the middle of the night, starving! I don't know why, but I went right past my fridge and went online. I was hungry for a cookbook. Can you believe it? I even had some chicken quesadilla leftovers in the freezer and didn't think twice about them. You are my first and only choice when I need to buy a book. I don't even go outside anymore (pollen and I don't mix well). Like I always do, I went to the Amazon Dot Com site at www.barnesandnoble.com. In three minutes I found exactly what I was looking for! Well, that was three weeks ago. Where is my citrus cookbook!!!
In that time I have gone from being a big fan, to a potential owner, to a very hungry pessimist. I think back to that night and now regret that I turned on my computer at such an ungodly hour. Is it Amazon Dot Com policy not to ship cookbook orders that are placed in the wee hours? I can see your reasoning. Anybody in need of recipes at 3:00 a.m. is probably not in his or her right mind. But, I assure you, I was! I think you should rethink this policy. It is simply not fair. Do you ignore travel book orders from snowed in cities? Would you deny a boat-building guide to anyone living in the Midwest?
We are human beings, man! We know what we want! I know you are only trying to help me but I really did want that cookbook. Hey, remember that really cool Twilight Zone episode, "To Serve Man" -- oh that was the best one, "It's a Cookbook! It's a Cookbook!" Great stuff. I don't want to waste your time anymore than I have to. I know you have a great company and selling books online is what I would do if I had a great domain name like Amazon. Please let me know what happened to my cookbook. Next time I go hungry I really want to head your way again, as an owner. Oh, almost forgot, do you carry sock monkeys?
Almost your boss,
Rick Chester
A Response from Amazon.com
Thank you for writing in to Amazon.com!
I can certainly understand your concern, however I can not find any record of a cookbook order under this email address or the name Rick Chester. Did you receive an order confirmation from us acknowledging that you had placed the order?
I agree that three weeks is a very long time to wait- especially when one is hungry. Please contact us so that we may straighten this problem out. Customer Service can be reached Monday through Friday, 8:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. (Pacific Time).
======
U.S. and Canada: (800) 201-7575
International: (206) 694-2992
Fax: (206) 694-2950
Best regards,
Rachel XXXXXX
Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/
Books, Music, and More
Dear Rick,
Greetings from Amazon.com!
I've checked your account but only found an order placed on 4/3/98 for "If They Don't Win It's a Shame : The Year the Marlins Bought the World Series". The name associated with that account is Rick Munarriz.
I was unable to locate any other orders. Perhaps you ordered the cookbook using a different email address? If so, please contact us with the address, or an order ID number, and we'll be happy to investigate.
Also, I noticed in your email that you said you ordered from the Amazon Dot Com site at www.barnesandnoble.com. Amazon's website is www.amazon.com, so you may have inadvertently ordered from Barnes and Noble.
Please don't hesitate to contact us if you have any further questions or concerns, and thanks for shopping at Amazon.com!
Warmest regards,
Daniel XXXX
Amazon.com
Books, Music & More
http://www.amazon.com
Rick Chester Writes Back to Amazon.com
Daniel XXXXX:
Let me get this straight. Amazon Dot Com does not own www.barnesandnoble.com? Are you sure about this? They sell books, just like you do. Could it be that you are new at Amazon Dot Com and they have not told you? At work there are people who keep secrets from me. They also call me names -- like Rick, or Mr. Chester. I don't like that at all. Anyway, if you are right, phew, what a relief. It solidifies my intention to become an Amazon Dot Com shareholder since that was the last cookbook I will ever order from that other site.
They should change their name to www.barnesand.com. That's right, no noble. How can they be when they hold back my cookbook orders. Their loss. I will be with Amazon Dot Com forever. Oh, sock monkeys?
Rick Chester
Amazon.com Writes Back... Again!
Dear Mr. Chester,
Greetings and salutations from Amazon.com!
I've researched your previous order and have reached the same conclusion as Daniel. Our records do not show any purchases for cookbooks.
You should know that it is not our policy to deny orders because of the time they were placed. That sure wouldn't be very business savvy! We hope you appreciate this policy, as it demonstrates our unflagging determination to make Amazon.com the greatest bookstore on the Internet. With that in mind, we're sorry to hear you mistakenly placed your last order with another online bookseller. We would've tried to do better -- that's for sure!
However, we'd love it if you could come visit our site again! This time, you can just enter "http://www.amazon.com." That way, you can be assured of ordering from the *real* Amazon.com, kind of like watching original "Twilight Zone" episodes instead of some second rate knockoff.
When you do visit us at Amazon.com, I've compiled a list of book titles I think you might enjoy:
-----
The Mystery of the Sock Monkeys
by Elspeth Campbell Murphy, Joe Nordstrom
List Price: $3.99
Our Price: $3.19
You Save: $0.80 (20%)
Reading level: Ages 9-12
Paperback - 64 pages (October
1998)
Bethany House Publishers; ASIN:
155661859X
-----
Citrus : A Cookbook
by Ford Rogers
Value Priced at:
$12.98
Availability: This title
usually ships within 2-3
days.
-----
The Lazlo Letters : The Amazing, Real-Life, Actual
Correspondence of Lazlo Toth, American
by Don Novello
List Price: $7.95
Our Price: $6.36
You Save: $1.59 (20%)
Availability: This title usually ships within
2-3 days.
-----
To order any of these great titles, simply enter the title into our "Author, Title, Subject" search. Then follow the ordering process, just like you did for the book about the Marlins.
Please feel free to contact us if you have any further questions, concerns, or comments. Thanks for shopping at Amazon.com!
Best regards,
Paul XXXX
Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/
Books, Music, and More