Play Dough
Working at Home
January 21, 1998

So. You've taken the plunge and you're going to work out of the home, either as a telecommuter or as owner of your own business. No longer will you wrestle with the dread rush-hour dragon. No more will you be held hostage in the bitter cold embrace of your callous co-workers. Instead, your place of work will now be your very own happy hearth, where Yuletide songs and sweet-hearted lullabies throng upward in vibrant harmony with the roaring flame, where the sounds and smells of dishes at the dinner hour make you salivate like Pavlov's dogs.

Assuming you can keep your spittle off the keyboard, what are you going to do about the kids?

How do you handle it when, in the middle of a sensitive telephone negotiation for that big contract you've been craving, your 3-year-old barges in, sits on your lap, and demands a "gorilla bar." (That's toddlerspeak for granola bar.) What do you do then?

What follows are some suggestions for the parent who's managed to muster the courage to go it alone, at home.

1) Lock the door.
Yes, of course it's simple enough, and it's also true enough that there's no guarantee that the wee ones won't bang mightily on it. But it's a start. Let your kids know that when you're in your office, you're unavailable. This must be an ironclad rule, or it will be open to frequent attack.

2) Unlock the door.
When the door isn't locked, make it clear that it's OK to come in. In other words, an unlocked door is an unlocked door. Oh, sure, we know what you're thinking: this guy thinks in tautologies! But even the philosophy majors among you must admit that a clear and consistent sign, so far as your kids are concerned, is most effective. After all, your kids may find it terribly exciting to come in and use your keyboard. Your office should not be known only as a place they hate because they can't get in to it.

3) Keep an even keel.
Remember that you're still at home, and your most cherished loved ones live there as well. This means that cursing, stomping, hair-pulling, and other expressions of frustration should be kept to a minimum. The road to success in an at-home business may be quite a bit rockier even than the one for which the usual office back-stabbing has prepared you. If your children are younger, keep in mind that even though they may not understand that torrent of horrific epithets right now, it may well come back to haunt you when they're 14. If they're already 14, you're in a lot of trouble.

4) Employ them.
You know the old adage about having a party and not disturbing the neighbors: invite them. The same applies to your children. If they're of an age at which you think they could help with bookkeeping, or letter writing, or envelope stuffing, or the internet (yes! they may know more than you!) then it can be an ideal situation. They can learn about your business. They get paid. They work for cheap. You get to know one another in an entirely new way. These are all major pluses.

5) Explain what you're doing.
Explain that this doesn't mean you've stopped working; it means that you're doing something new. Explain that it is, indeed, an adventure. Get them to root for you, and with you, by having a sense of a shared goal. And again, remember that you're modeling for them a very important life lesson: how you handle a challenge or, rather, how you handle a series of challenges.

6) Be tolerant.
If (when) you do slip up and you do leave that door unlocked and your child runs in at the wrong time, you'll need to be forgiving, for the sake both of your children and of the person on the other end of the line. Keep in mind that a display of meanness can be as damaging to your future business prospects as any other misstep. People don't like working with people they don't like.

7) Location, location, location.
Try to think strategically when first you choose where in your house your office will be. That little room in the basement right next to the kids' playroom? Not such a good idea. The unused bedroom on the second floor, far from the playroom? A better idea. If you've got a second building on the premises, like a barn or a garage with an apartment above it, consider fixing it up. The more you're able to function without interruption, the better for all concerned.

--David Wolpe (TMF Dbunk)