The Rules
Wedding Tips for the Foolish

So you've just gotten engaged. Good for you! You're about to be inundated with advice from everyone and their brother. We're glad you decided to see what the Fool has to say about it. Because what we're going to tell you you're not going to be hearing from many people.

The first thing any bride-to-be should do after saying "yes" is, "Show me the money!" If you're anything like the average couple in the United States you're going to spend about $20,000 for your wedding. And what's worse, if you're "average," you're only going to be married about seven and a half years.

Whew! I know -- you're saying to yourself that the Family Fool is supposed to be positive and upbeat, and what's going on?

Hey, we're happy for you! Congratulations! Mazel Tov! High Five!

But is all of this hoopla really going to be worth $20K?

Let's think about what else you could do with $20,000. 1) It can be the down payment on a new home that's worth over a quarter of a million dollars. 2) It would pay for a graduate degree at most state schools. 3) It could get you a pretty nice new convertible. 4) You and your honey could go to Europe for three months and stay at those romantic little pensiones. 5) You could start your own business.

Or you can throw a party that will last about four hours.

Hmmm... now what is the Foolish answer here?

Well, the Foolish answer is really about what is most important to you. If you've always dreamed of having a huge blow-out wedding complete with Barbie doll bridesmaid dresses and a honeymoon in Tahiti, then now's the only time (hopefully) that you're going to get a chance to do it. So go for it.

But if you're like most of us, chances are that while those ideas of pearl taffeta and tiaras sound romantic, the truth is that we've got some more down-to-earth things that we'd rather do and a limited amount of money with which to do them.

So what's a Fool to do?

Well, first of all, who's going to be paying for the shindig? Traditionally the bride's parents have paid for the wedding reception, but recent polls have shown that almost 80% of all newlyweds pay for the majority of the wedding themselves. If you find yourself in that category, you might want to take a cue from some of these Fools who have broken "the rules" and still had beautiful, memorable weddings.

--John and Cheryl rented a county-owned restored rustic grist mill next to a beautiful river for their ceremony. Afterwards, they had a barbecue cookout for their reception. Dress was casual and the music was provided by a DJ. They splurged on the honeymoon and went to Tahiti. Total cost: $9,000.

--John and Sonia used his parent's farmhouse in rural Pennsylvania for their outdoor ceremony and reception. The wedding was in late summer and earlier in the year they had planted sunflowers all over the farm. By the time the wedding came around the entire property was flush with huge smiling flowers. The food was vegetarian and the wine was homemade. Total cost: About $3,000.

--Jack and Vickie rented an outdoor area of a local amusement park for their ceremony and reception before their hiking trip/honeymoon around the world. Guests received t-shirts that said "Jack and Vickie World Tour" with all of the places that they would be going on the back. The first stop was "Adventure World Kick-Off, May 8." They served hot dogs and ice cream. Total cost of wedding: $2,500. Total cost of honeymoon: $12,000.

--Charlie and Lucretia wanted their own house more than anything else. They let it be known to all of their guests that instead of gifts they'd really rather have help with the down payment of their house. While Miss Manners probably wouldn't have approved, their friends were asked to send checks to a bank account set up for the occasion. The wedding and reception were held at their church. Wedding cost: About $2,000. Money raised for their new home: $9,000.

If you'd like more ideas for saving money on your wedding, be sure and check out our 10 Foolish Money Savers.