(FOOL GLOBAL WIRE) ST. PETERSBURG, FL. (July 24): After consulting my extensive database of indicators and oscillators, not to mention the commutative and positronic indices, I'm convinced we're in the first stage of a final-phase bearish bull cusp on the verge of falling into a full-blown panic buying sell-off.
Based on the advice of the various gooroos plying their trade on CNBC today, I'm absolutely sure that the market will open 4.33 points higher than it closed today, peak higher by another 17 points by noon and then plummet a full 147.25 points in the afternoon (by 3:30 eastern time) before closing the day down precisely 52.21 for the day. Of course, my prediction depends on the spread between the Dream Team's game against Lithuania tonight and the price of Air Jordan's in the Olympic Village before 8:30 am tomorrow. If there's a divergence, however, between the number of fouls committed by Charles Barkley and the number of free throws missed by Shaq, all bets are off.
Have I laid it on thick enough yet? Lest anyone miss the point (and there are still readers blaming Jonathan Swift for being callous in suggesting Ireland sell its surplous baby population as food for the rich English in "A Modest Proposal"), everything I've said is, of course, complete fertilizer. The point of all this, and believe it or not, there is a point, is that no one else has a clue what the market's going to do tomorrow either. And if you believe they do, I'll sell you two tickets to the U.S.A. vs. Sweden women's soccer match real cheap (hint, hint, they played already, Fool).
The only news concerning our IFG stocks is a brokerage upgrade on Mirage Resorts <% if gsSubBrand = "aolsnapshot" then Response.Write("(NYSE:MIR)") else Response.Write("(NYSE:MIR)") end if %>. Los Angeles-based investment firm Seidler Cos raised its rating on the hotel and gaming stock to buy from hold, analyst Jeff Logsdon said.
He said recent conversations with company officials have boosted his confidence that it will be able to work out an arrangement with Atlantic City officials allowing for construction of a new highway to planned resorts there. Logsdon also noted a lower second-quarter winning percentage, which knocked the stock down yesterday, was simply a matter of unlucky play for the quarter and not a sign of any major trend.
Stay Foolish and re-read the Gardners' explanation of the Leibniz Pre-Harmonic Oscillator in their book; it's still my favorite for predicting short-term movements.
Transmitted: 7/24/96 | ||||||||
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