The Daily Workshop Report
by Robert Sheard (TMF Sheard)

LEXINGTON, KY. (Apr. 10, 1997)

Scroll to the bottom for year-to-date Growth and Value Screen results.

Much to my family's disbelief, there are occasions where I simply have little to say. And with the market wandering somewhat aimlessly today (most of the week actually), today turns out to be one of those days.

On days like this, I often turn to my reading notebooks from my days in academia, and find some thought to pursue there. And one of my favorite "poems" is actually by a very non-canonical writer, Ogden Nash. The following work is from his 1933 collection, Happy Days. Enjoy, Fools!

The Terrible People

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it,
And I wish I could afford to gather all such people into a gloomy castle on the Danube and hire half a dozen capable Draculas to haunt it.
I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it,
But I do think they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.
But no, they insist on being stealthy
About the pleasures of being wealthy,
And the possession of a handsome annuity
Makes them think that to say how hard it is to make both ends meet is their bounden duity.
You cannot conceive of an occasion
Which will find them without some suitable evasion.
Yes indeed, with arguments they are very fecund;
Their first point is that money isn't everything, and that they have no money anyhow is their second.
Some people's money is merited,
And other people's is inherited,
But wherever it comes from,
They talk about it as if it were something you got pink gums from.
This may well be,
But if so, why do they not relieve themselves of the burden by transferring it to the deserving poor or to me?
Perhaps indeed the possession of wealth is constantly distressing,
But I should be quite willing to assume every curse of wealth if I could at the same time assume every blessing.
The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure,
Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.
Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny—
Have you ever tried to buy them without money?

Monthly Growth Screens
(Jan. 3 to present)
18.58%  Relative Strength  
6.33%  YPEG Potential  
1.57%  Low Price/Sales  
1.37%  S&P 500 Index  
-5.61%  Investing for Growth  
-14.09%  EPS Plus RS  
-21.23%  Formula 90  
-22.70%  Unemotional Growth  

Annual Value Screens
(Jan. 1 to present)
3.49%  Dogs of the Dow  
3.14%  Beating the S&P  
1.42%  Dow Jones Ind Avg  
-2.92%  Dow Combo  
-2.98%  Unemotional Value  
-2.98%  Beating the Dow  
-6.67%  Foolish Four