Stardate: 2967.0706 Aboard the Starship Enterprise

Dr. McCoy and Cyrano Jones carefully lifted the mortally wounded Ensign onto the nearest sick bed, then McCoy hit the com switch on the wall. "McCoy to Bridge. McCoy to Bridge!" he repeated urgently.

"Spock here, Dr. McCoy. Do you have an emergency?"

"You might say that. You and the Captain better get down to sick bay. There's something you need to see. Ensign Claunch has been killed."

"Dr. McCoy, though it is unfortunate that the Enterprise lost a crew member, we are currently instituting repairs to the bridge. Have you determined a cause of death? If so, perhaps you could send the captain a repor..."

"Now look here," replied Bones, nearly shouting, "you heartless, pointy-eared automaton! Your overwhelming sympathy notwithstanding, I still need you to come down here. I HAVE determined the cause of death, Mr. Spock. Ensign Claunch was killed... by a tribble."

There was a pause. "Dr. McCoy, Tribbles are among the most docile animals in the known universe, and are physically incapable of killing anyone. Your assertion is illogical."

"So is the shape of your eyebrows, Spock! I'm telling you that I've got an swollen, bloodsucking Tribble down here attached to a dead ensign's neck. I don't know how to put that any more plainly to you, so you bad-hair-wearing, green-skinned..."

"Bones, that's enough," came the voice of Capt. Kirk through the speaker. "We're on our way."

Kirk, Spock and McCoy stood over the cantaloupe-sized Tribble, which the doctor had removed and put into a sterile chamber. They could still hear it purring, but the tribble's normally hypnotic trilling sound had been replaced by a noise more like the growl of a German shepherd. Bones stuck his hands in the gloves attached to the box and picked the tribble up.

"You won't believe this," he said. Turning the tribble over, McCoy squeezed one end of the furry creature. A hole appeared in the thing -- a hole filled with a pair of sharp, pointy fangs.

"Fascinating," said Spock.

"Tell that to Ensign Claunch," said the Captain. "Mr. Jones...you have some explaining to do. You'd better have a damn good reason for bringing vampire tribbles aboard my space ship!"

"Oh my," muttered Jones. "I didn't think it possible, I assure you! There have been rumors, of course, but what are the odds of encountering a sonic probe at that exact frequency in deep space?"

"Given the evidence, I'd say that odds were good."

"Yes...of course. Dear me...and the Tribble company was just about to institute a 100% stock dividend, too! We simply MUST get to the bottom of this."

"A 100% stock dividend, Jones?" Bones inquired, momentarily distracted. "Some companies split their stock and some companies issue big stock dividends. What is the difference? Is a 100% stock dividend the same as a 2 for 1 stock split, as far as the investor is concerned?"

Jones smiled, happy to turn the conversation away from the troubled tribble. "The difference between a 100% stock dividend and a 2 for 1 stock split is that:"

1) After a stock split the market price of each share drops, while after a stock dividend, the market price remains the same.
2) The stock dividend is taxable, but the stock split is not.
3) Because splits of that size are rarer than comparable dividends, the market will capitalize the splitting company higher than the dividend-issuing company.
4) While the accounting is different, the investor should see virtually no difference.

Dividend information provided by Joe Louderback.

The answer is 4) While the accounting is different, the investor should see virtually no difference.

A 100% stock dividend gives each shareholder one new share for each one held. So does a 2 for 1 split. Holders of 100 shares will have 200 shares after either transaction. In both cases, the market price of the stock should drop in half because in neither case does the company acquire new assets or liabilities.

Neither transaction is taxable, so #2 is wrong. Splits of 2 to 1 are hardly rare, but stock dividends of 100% are extremely rare, partly because of the accounting differences between the two, so #3 is also wrong. Moreover, the market does not care how the stock was issued, by dividend or split, so does not capitalize them differently.

Splits and large stock dividends do make the shares more accessible to small investors who wish to buy round lots (multiples of 100 shares). An investor with $10,000 can buy 100 shares of a $100 stock, but only 50 of a $200 stock. Additionally, some evidence suggests that companies perceive a desirable range of price for their shares. Some cite a range of between $40 and $100. Berkshire Hathaway, Warren Buffett's company, evidently thinks otherwise because its stock sells for over $32,000 per share.

"Fascinating!" Spock said once again.

"Spock, stop SAYING that. It's very annoying," said Kirk. "And Bones, if you're planning on investing in this Tribbles, Inc., perhaps you'd better find out just why their product has developed an unfortunate tendency to mutate?"

A voice screamed over the intercom. It was Sulu, obviously panicked. "Captain to the Bridge! Captain to the bridge! We are under...."

It was all the lieutenant got out before the ship was rocked by an enormous blast, throwing the officers and Cyrano Jones to the deck. Kirk struggled to his feet and hit the speaker. "Red alert! All hands to battle stations. Sulu....talk to me!"

"Captain...it's like nothing I've ever seen! It looks like...no, it can't be!"

"Spit it out, man!"

"Captain... we are under attack by a giant... tribble!"

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