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I waited in the Triumph with Motli until I saw Ray Raymond leave the security booth and climb in a golf cart to make his rounds of the Techtek property. "He might be a good cop," I said to Motli, "but he's a lousy security guard." Mr. Off-the-rack was still propped up behind the reception desk. "I see you're back. Why's that? Did you run out of bloodstained clothing?" He took a harsh look at Motli's outfit. "Oh dear... no mirrors in your house?" Motli grabbed and twisted his ear so hard I thought it would come off. "You're a very rude person. And ugly, too. Now open the door." The guy did just that. Motli smiled sweetly, then picked up and dashed his phone against the wall. "We'll announce ourselves, thank you." "You're either quite insane, Mr. Diamond, or drunk again. Which is it?" asked Evelyn Christian. "Both. What's your point? Let me tell you how I see it, toots. I'm guessing you knew your hubby was selling your widgets illegally in the Gulf. But that was okay because you were rolling in dough then, huh? What's a little breach of national security between spouses?" "How dare you!?" she said, leaning forward and slapping me. "I'm a daring guy. Do that again I'm gonna get all gender confused and punch you. I figure you got suspicious about the mistress and hired my dad to confirm your husband's dalliances. When he did, you decided to take it out on hubby the only place that mattered to him -- the bottom line. Rather than call him on it, you blackmailed him." I jabbed my finger in her face. "And THEN you set ME up by sending me there. A little birdie told me that you'd already sent hubby-boy's heartthrob, Miss Alexandre, out of town. Tell me something, lady, how much did it cost you to have someone try to lop my head off? For that matter, how much did it cost you to have your husband kacked when he found out it was you? AND WHO KILLED MY FATHER!?" "You wretched man!" she screamed. "I loved my husband!? Of course I knew about the illegal shipments. It was the only way to keep his business open. And I knew Conrad was being blackmailed, but it certainly wasn't by me, you bumbling idiot, because now I'M being blackmailed! Whoever it was killed my husband because he refused to pay any more. Then he insisted I keep up both the illegal shipments AND the payments or he would expose Techtek. I sent you to Miss Alexandre's house because that is where I was to deliver the next payment. Given your reputation, Mr. Diamond, I was hoping you would run into the blackmailer, shoot first, and worry about it later. Now get out of my office!" As if on cue, the door burst open. Mr. Off-the-rack led in Sgt. Raymond-the-security-guard and pointed at us. "Okay, you two, on your feet," Ray commanded. I attempted to tell Ray what was going on but he clubbed me with his blackjack. I came to over his shoulder in the parking lot. Motli was in cuffs on the ground. "Let me DOWN, Ray! What the hell is the matter with you? And what's with the blackjack?" I wiggled off Ray's shoulder, knocking his hat off. He grabbed it and shoved it back on...but not before I saw it. There, just above his temple, were two fresh stitches...just about the size of a hat pin wound. Ray caught my glance. "Sorry you had to see that, Ace." He pulled a throwaway revolver from his jacket pocket. A two-foot length of piano wire came out with it and fell to the ground. "Oops," he said, smirking. Then, in a perfect English accent: "Guess my secret's out. Bloody shame, that." "No. No! YOU were the one my dad was gonna betray. I thought Father Flanagan meant he was breaking a client's confidentiality. Why, Ray. Why?" "Follow the money, Ace. Follow the money. Guess it led you to me, just like it did Jack. Too bad. But you know, I hear you been asking all sorts of weird questions all over town, so I'm gonna give you a sporting chance here. Motli, ask us one of your geek questions. If I answer first, I shoot you both. If you answer first, I'll lay down my weapon and we'll settle this with fists." He looked at my bandaged hand. "Well, fist." Motli, shaking, nodded. "Okay....which of the following items requires an adjustment in the section that reconciles net income with net cash flow from operations?" 1) Writeoff of machinery and equipment junked on closing a factory Statement of Cash Flow information supplied by Joe Louderback.
The answer is 1) Writeoff of machinery and equipment junked on closing a factory. "A writeoff simply removes the asset from the balance sheet," I said, "and at the same time recognizes an expense on the income statement, not affecting cash at all. Therefore, the expense on the income statement related to closing the factory is not the cash spent on the closure. The adjustments section recognizes just such items. "Retiring debt (#2) is not an expense and will not show up on the income statement, but will appear on the statement of cash flow. Interest on debt is an expense, but paying back loans simply reduces both cash and long term debt on the balance sheet. The transaction will appear in the financing section of the cash flow statement. "Issuing common stock (#3) is not an income statement transaction, as a previous lesson on the balance sheet showed. The transaction will appear in the financing section of the cash flow statement. "Finally, purchases of plant assets are not expenses, but appear as investing activities in that section of the cash flow statement. The annual depreciation on the assets will, of course, require adjustments in the operations section and also reduce income in the future." Motli's jaw dropped as the words poured out. Somehow or another over the past few days some of Motli's gibberish un-gibbered in my fuzzy brain. I turned to Ray. "So there! Now drop the heater and let's dance, dirtbag." The spineless coward raised the gun instead. Figured. But before I could move on him there was a blur of green and purple as Motli shot off of the ground and Emma Peel-ed his sorry butt with a couple of spectacular kicks to parts of his anatomy not generally designed for kicking. By the time she was done Ray was on the ground wearing his own handcuffs. Motli smiled at me and flipped me his piece. "Told you I had skills." I glanced at the handcuffs, then back to her. She held up her arms. "Thick wrists." Cute, but I wasn't about to be outdone by a woman, so I walked over and shot Ray right through the hand. "She's got skills, but I've got bullets. And you owed me a hand for my dad. In fact, you owe me a hand and a half. But I'll settle for this," I said, slugging him with my bad fist. It was a really stupid thing to do. I did it again. "What do we do now, boss?" Motli asked. "Well, Mot, we call the Feds and local blues and let them come clean up the trash. Then we get drunk. And then you explain to me why YOU hired Jack to begin with." I watched her turn deep red and drop her head, the tears already flowing. "You're the only one left, Mot. Quit leakin' and start speakin'." "I have a lot to tell you, Ace. But later. For now... I wasn't Jack's secretary. He worked for me. The secretary thing was my cover -- I'm on a mission to expose charlatans and other shady characters in the investment world, and he was my private eye. He just... sometimes when you're dealing with high finance you run into some real scumbags." She sniffled, then kicked Ray one more time for good measure. "Ace, I'm so sorry." "So am I, Mot. But that was dad. You can fill me in back at the office." "So... are you gonna turn Ms. Christian in, too?" she asked. I nodded. "For selling her igniters illegally?" "Nah, what the hell do I care about that? But she and her husband lied to her shareholders, Motli. And that REALLY ticks me off."
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