| BustTheTipstersBanner | JavaFiller |
|
|||
I left Billy's and was on my way to St. McDougal's when Motli called. She told me she had a funny feeling about something and didn't want to wait at the office alone. "Come on, Motli," I told her. "It's more dangerous being with m..." That was as far as I got before she turned on the waterworks. Not wanting an office full of purple stains, I picked her up. We pulled into the St. McDougal's lot under a banner advertising "Over 20,000 Saved." I'm not religious, but that struck me as borderline bad taste even for Los Angeles. At the menu board I noted that today's sermon was 'The Pros and Cons of A Plastic Dashboard Jesus.' Priceless. Everybody had a gimmick these days. "Welcome to St. McDougal's," said a tinny voice through the speaker. "May I save you, please?" I knew the padre's voice well. This wasn't it. I glanced over at Motli. "Altar boy?" She wasn't amused. A strange look crossed her face. I asked if she was okay and she gave me a stern, short nod. The woman's moods had more swings than a playground. I told the voice I wanted private counseling and was instructed to drive forward. When I pulled up to the altar I expected to see Father Flanagan's smiling face behind the stained glass facade above a second speaker, but the curtains didn't part. I yelled at the speaker: "Father Flanagan? You in there? It's Ace, Ace Diamond. Jack's boy. Hey, Padre!" I reached up to pull back the curtain. "Acey, don't..." Motli warned. Too late. He came flying out from behind the altar wearing the same dark sunglasses and the same hat pulled down over his head, obscuring his face. But there was no mistaking the long strand of piano wire glinting in the sun as it wrapped around my neck. "I warned you, Diamond. Didn't I? You just couldn't leave well enough alone. Fortunately, you're too stupid and too much of a drunken buffoon to have done any real damage..." From the corner of my eye I saw a flash of green and purple. "Don't you speak to Mr. Diamond that way! You're a very, very bad man!" she screamed, which The Wire thought was pretty amusing until Motli pulled out a knitting needle-sized hat pin and jabbed it in his head. He howled and released the garrote. I grabbed it and wrapped it around HIS neck. "Who are you working for!?" I demanded. "Who hired you!?" "Aaaaaaaaace... Aaaaaaace..." I heard a voice say. It was strange, soft. Coming from the speaker under the curtains. Suddenly my head began to spin. I was disoriented, confused. I lost my grip on the garrote... and like a flash The Wire was gone. For some reason Motli was beating herself in the head with her fist. "It's...it's...The Whisper!" she shrieked. Clearly she was more frightened than I thought. When I saw her pull her personal Derringer from her ugly green purse, suddenly I was frightened, too. BANG! She shot out the speaker. And once more for good measure -- why leave a bullet in the gun? The voice died. I watched in amazement as Motli blew the smoke off her snubby barrel like a gangster's moll. "Ace, we need to talk," she said in a spectacularly normal voice. "Things are not as they seem. I'm not really a sec..." Just then the curtains behind me parted, and Father Flanagen peered over the altar. The poor old guy was mumbling incoherently. "Ace... I think I've been... possessed. The numbers... the numbers... so much strange information in my head. Have to get it out... help me... " "That's okay, Padre. Just let it out," Motli soothed. Father Flanagan grabbed his temples and screamed: "Why do you have to subtract increases in accounts receivable to find cash provided by operations?" 1) Because an increase in accounts receivable means that cash collections from customers were greater than sales. Statement of Cash Flow information provided by TMF Parlay.
The answer is 2) Because an increase in accounts receivable means that cash collections from customers were less than sales. An increase in receivables means that sales exceeded cash collections. Therefore, the sales figure on the income statement is higher than the amount of cash collected from customers, and we want to report the latter on the Cash Flow Statement. Cash flow and income are not the same. Companies record sales when people buy their products, whether they pay or not. Companies record expenses whether they pay them or not. For example, the income tax expense on the income statment shows the amount that the company will have to pay based on its income, but it will pay much of that amount after the year is over. Similar situations arise with salaries, wages, utilities, and other items. Income statements do not report cash flows. But every good Fool knows cash flows are important, hence the Statement of Cash Flows. Motli, of course, knew the answer. But while we tended to Father Flanagan she told me some bizarre fish story about The Whisper being some sort of spirit or something that created confusion and panic about wherever it landed and found an open window...or a mind to take over. She further explained that she was some kind of guardian or something of the financial universe, whose sole purpose on Earth was to inform and educate the public about shady financial dealings. Yeah, right. I smiled and nodded and I checked her head for lumps. Obviously the poor delusional darling was suffering from some sort of traumatic stress. I'd have her looked at later. Just then I had a case to solve. I gave Father Flanagan the rundown. "Padre, why did my dad come to visit you the day he died? Do you know who he was working for?" A grim look crossed Flanagan's face. "Oh dear, I was hoping you wouldn't ask me that, Ace. Your father... he was a loyal man. And he was about to betray a trust. Now, I can't tell you any more than that. Union rules, you know. But ask yourself this: who else had access to the information? Who could have known about illegal trade? Follow the money, Ace." "I've been following the money, Padre. But..." And suddenly it all made sense. "Come on, Motli, let's go." "Go where, Acey?" she asked, her voice back to normal. Well, normal for her. "To catch the bad guy, darlin'. To catch the bad guy."
|
|||
© Copyright 1995-2000, The Motley Fool. All rights reserved. This material is for personal use only. Republication and redissemination, including posting to news groups, is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of The Motley Fool. The Motley Fool is a registered trademark and the "Fool" logo is a trademark of The Motley Fool, Inc. Contact Us |