The Bug was in love with Allison. He knew it was wrong, but he didn't care. He knew she already had a boyfriend, but he didn't care. He knew she wore bright red dresses with gold pendants, and slathered on perfume so she'd attract men like moths to a flame, but he didn't care.

His love was never-ending, and completely blind. He'd sometimes thought that that's why he needed to wear his curved reflecting shades. So she wouldn't see the love that hid behind those sad, sometimes bloodshot, lapdog eyes of his. And the fact that they helped hide those awful bags under his eyes didn't hurt either.

Allison was a star of the office at Roman, Wise, & Pecunia, Inc. This was all the more remarkable because she was totally incompetent. It didn't matter. She'd dropped out of a girls' finishing school in Arkansas. She had a little photo of Martha Mitchell on her desk (Martha had come from Pine Bluff, "just two shakes down the road from me," she said). She couldn't answer a telephone without sounding annoyed. She was incensed at being called a secretary, and a memo had been sent around the office by the General Manager (Pecunia himself) saying that the term 'secretary' was not to be used. The Bug had let her know that he'd lobbied hard for that. For her.

"Can you fax me that part of the balance sheet?" said the speakerphone at his elbow.

He didn't answer. Mrs. Petruno's suddenly irritating voice cut through his reverie again. "Hello? Are you still there?"

Allison had gone over to the supply cabinet, and the supply cabinet was next to the fax machine. The Bug suddenly saw an opportunity to be in the same space as the goddess, Allison.

"Of course, Mrs. Petruno. I'd be more than happy to do that. Hang on. I'll do it right now."

"OK," bleated the speakerphone. "And let me get something straight. Current assets are assets you'll turn into cash within a year and current liabilities are liabilities you have to pay within a year, right? I'm just trying to ascertain which of these is NOT a current liabilitiy on the March 31 balance sheet:

1) The bill for telephone service from February 20 to March 20.

2) Amounts owed to the suppliers for goods bought in March.

3) The salary the president will earn over the coming year.

4) Customer deposits on goods that will be delivered next month.

The answer is 3) Salary the president will earn over the coming year. The president has not yet earned the salary that the company will pay her. If she resigned today, the company would owe her nothing that it already did not. Accounting does not recognize executory contracts, where neither party has performed its obligations. Liabilities are limited to amounts owed for something the company has already received, such as goods, telephone service, cash in advance of a sale, or work.

As the president works, her salary, and a liability, will accrue. But until she does work the company has no liability.

The bug didn't bother to answer Mrs. Petruno. He found her Bronx accent unbearably irritating, and he didn't like the fact that she seemed to be asking fairly astute questions. What's more, he could now see the fine hairs on the back of Allison's neck as she stood near the window. She was wearing her hair up today.

He'd begun watching her favorite soap operas, so he could chat with her about them.

"So," he said, breaking the ice casually. "You think Rhonda is carrying Arnold's baby?"

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