ONCE UPON A TIME, there were three bears. They lived in a cottage and ate only pottage. All day long, Papa Bear watched CNBC to keep abreast of the financial markets, while Mama Bear pored over the Investor's Business Daily. Baby Bear amused himself playing with his financial calculator running PEGS and YPEGs and reading all the financial newsletters that the elder bears threw in the recycling bin.

Papa Bear, who accumulated his nest egg by rummaging through garbage, and redeeming bottles and cans (like who's gonna stop him?), believed in a long-term buy-and-hold strategy. He had lived through many a bear market (naturally), and recognized that in the long run, stocks ultimately went up.

Mama Bear liked to find new and exciting products to invest in. (Who do you think scared Peter Lynch's wife so intensely that she ran into the The Gap for shelter?)

And Baby Bear, when not staring at the photo of Elaine Garzarelli which was lovingly attached to his wall, liked to find undervalued stocks for his Papa, who would buy them and then sell when they became fully valued.

One day, after several years of a very bullish market, Papa Bear heard on TV that the Fed was increasing interest rates. Mama Bear noticed that there were many down days for the DOW. And Baby Bear's heart was all a-flutter, because Elaine Garzarelli told him to SELL! SELL! SELL! So, in a state of irrationally exuberant panic, the Bears decided to reorganize their finances.

One morning, during a breakfast of a particularly delectable porridge, each Bear drew up a plan of how they would reallocate their finances. Papa Bear was going to cash in all his stocks and put it under his mattress -- after all he wasn't getting any younger. Mama Bear was going to put it all into Mutual Funds and spend her days reading Women's Bear Daily. And Baby Bear was going to do everything his beloved Elaine advised.

All of a sudden, there was a loud thud outside, causing the Bears to jump in alarm. Someone had broken into the honey shed! Out they ran to investigate.

Knock knock. Knock knock. A rap on the open door.

No answer.

Knock knock!

Pop. Pop. Through the open door appeared the goldenlocks of Smile n' Dial, the manipulative market bimbettes whose crassness shamed the likes of Beavis & Butt-head. They had heard the rumor that the Bears were looking for new investments and wanted to snatch the account for their personal financial gain.

"No one's home," snarled Smile. "Let's go in and look around."

As they entered the cozy cabin, they immediately noticed the unfinished breakfasts and the tiny pads by each plate. They crept over to stick their goldenness into the Bear family's business.

"Hey, lookie here Dial," said Smile, "Papa Bear's gonna put all his money under the mattress. Bad idea -- nothing in it for us. This idea is too cold."

"Oh catch this," smiled Dial, "Mama's gonna invest in mutual funds. We can steer her to some loaded ones. Getting warmer."

"Here's the best one," laughed Smile, "Baby's gonna do everything Elaine G. says. That will generate lots of commissions for us. His idea is J-U-S-T right."

The Bear family burst through the door. Who were these women of goldenlocks reading through their portfolio plans?

Suddenly, there was a loud jingling and the cabin began to shake. When it had stopped, Baby Bear's little Motley Fool Fool doll, who had been resting comfortably on his chair, was standing atop the breakfast table and shaking out his newly discovered mortal limbs.

"Bear family, listen to me," said the new-found voice of the little Fool. "I have lived with you since Baby Bear was born and observed all your Foolish investments. Beware the advice of these goldenlocked lassies because:

1) It's actually a good idea to cash your assets in and put all the money under the mattress. At least your funds will be safe;

2) It's a great idea to buy mutual funds; just stay away from ones with loads;

3) It's an excellent idea to act immediately on the advice of market gooroos because you will generate a short-term profit;

4) It's a terrific idea to stick with your proven and sucessful buy and hold investing technique and ignore sudden and temporary shifts in the market.

The correct answer is 4.

The Motley Fool, filled with rapture at his new-found voice, continued:

"Papa Bear, cashing in all your stocks is not a viable investment alternative. If you do that, there is no way your money will grow, which of course is the purpose of investing to begin with.

"Mama Bear, buying mutual funds will not solve your problems. Load or no-load, mutual funds underperform the market 75% of the time.

"Baby Bear, you must do your own research and not depend on someone else's opinion to tell you what to do. While it is okay to gather as much information as possible from whatever sources you choose, you should rely on your *own* ability to synthesize the information and come up with the best investment strategy for you.

"Bear family, your buy and hold philosophy has served you well to this point. Since no one can predict the market, it is a mistake to pull everything out due to a few days of weakness. Don't let sudden shifts in the market effect you; over the long-term, investing in the stock market has proven to be the most succesful approach to make your money grow."

The Bears looked at each other and realized the little doll was giving excellent advice. They then looked at Smile and Dial trying to sneak out the back door.

"Hold on," said Papa Bear. "I'll give you something of mine to invest. Take these beans and plant them. Climb the stalk that will grow, and if you're lucky, you will find an investor at the top with some *giant* funds to invest.

The Bears all ran to hug the Motley Fool doll, who had miraculously returned to an inanimate state. They followed his advice, however, by continuing their long-term successful investing strategy of finding under-valued stocks and holding them until they were fully valued.

And they all lived happily ever after.

THE END.

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