Monday, November 9, 1998

I've Got Friends Paying High Commissions
by Warren S. Levine ([email protected])

Sung to the tune of "I've Got Friends In Low Places."

Well, me and my friends
We're always at ends
On how to make money in stocks
They use a broker, an empty-suit joker
And I say it's better they not.

'Cause me and the Fools
Don't go by their rules
We do our own homework and then
With gool ol' horse sense and due diligence
We know where we wanna be in.

Oh, I got friends paying high commissions
They just sit there watching the ticker wishin'
Their stocks would rise
Well, ain't that Wise?
Their broker said that stock would rise to heaven
Just a week before they filed Chapter Seven
Now it ain't worth squat
Guess it wasn't that hot.

Well, I'm in no hurry
I don't sit there and worry
I've done all my homework and now
I go on with my life, the kids and the wife
And I'm ridin' on a cash cow.

Up forty percent
With Dell and Lucent
Holding a good strong hand pat
Paid eight bucks a trade, now I got it made
Hey, bein' a Fool's where it's at!

Oh, I've got friends paying high commissions
And they sit there wringing their hands and wishin'
Their stocks would rise
Well, ain't that Wise?
They're happy paying a quarter point
To a broker smoking a big fat joint
For lunch in Battery Park
Man, are they in the dark!

Oh, I'm a fan of the Motley Fool
And I'm makin' money and I'm feelin' cool
I do my own research
I'm not out in the lurch.
Yeah, I read books by them Gardner guys
I'm proud to be a Fool -- I laugh at the Wise
And I feel so free
I'm watchin' out for me!

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