Friday, September 25, 1998

Killer Markets
by Marty Goldstein ([email protected])

I am 60, invested in the stock market, and I have high blood pressure.

The news, financial and otherwise, is a major factor to my well-being. When the market goes up, my blood pressure goes down. Conversely, when the market goes down, my blood pressure soars. I know I am not alone. The stock market and the news can kill.

This is why I propose the following: A special network devoted solely to good news. On this network, tragedy takes a back seat, hateful people are not publicized, and the market always goes up. No mad bombers, no Monica Lewinsky, no bad days on Wall street.

Those little arrows on the screen would always be pointing up at the end of the day. Creative reporting can turn a major disaster into a footnote. And If a bit of "spin" is necessary to change a 500-point drop in the Dow to, say, a 12-point gain, so be it. Why not a little spin for the public good? Lord knows, there's enough of it out there which harms us.

Just think of all the fun and good feelings we'd have, and of all the money and lives we could save. Who knows what a healthy dividend, reaped from a less stressed population, could bring? The possibilities boggle the mind. And since we all know by now that Congress is light years away from reforming our health system, why not give this idea a try?

So, let's lift our remotes to W.A.O.K., where good is always in, bad is always out, and the NASDAQ is always up.

[Hey Fools, why not pen a Fribble, yourself? We welcome submissions from readers. Just click here and read the "What's a Fribble?" item, pen a short masterpiece, and send it off to TMF [email protected].]

Have a similar tale?
Talk about it in the Fribble Message Folder!