Wednesday, December 18, 1996
Year's End in Foolsville
a fairly tacky retrospective, with a slight moral way down at the other end.
By JKIP

Christmas in Foolsville is creeping upon us,
It's the End of our Calendar Year
We've done really well, to hear the Fools tell,
'Cause we try to buy Low and sell Dear.

We read about Earnings and Estimates too,
Then we send for the Current Reports
Checking Volume and Price and the Y-P-E-G
(Sometimes noting the numbers of Shorts.)

We look at the ratings that Analysts write
Where they tell us to buy what they say.
"We've upgraded this Stock from 'No Good' to a 'Buy '
Of course, they bought THEIR shares Yesterday!

We look in the Folders for stuff on our shares
Where we learn all about Online Spelling.
It's sorta like English but just a bit loose
And ALL CAPS looks like people are yelling.

From the "NEW FOLDER" post to the ones just sent in,
We read all that's been written each night.
If we disagree, "They're all wrong, don't you see?!"
If they think like WE do then they're right!

When making new friends in our Analog lives
We start things with "YO! , what's your Sign?"
But when chatting with folks in the Motley Fool Rooms,
"Bought at 4 , what YOU in at ?" works fine.

We're not really a thorn in the side of the Wise,
(Well, perhaps just a smallish protuberance)
'Cause we do our own work and we call our own trades,
While we're acting with "Rational Exuberance."

Our ex-brokers are sad, and perhaps a bit mad
When they learn the percentage we're earning.
They sometimes ask us what we think of a stock,
Some go Long and some even stop Churning.

We bought Iomega and A-M-E-R
And we're sitting on top of some gain.
Continue to hold or take profit now?
Either way, we'll be buying Champagne.

Sure, we bought K-L-A-C and C-H-P-S
And we lost quite a bit , (if we sold).
Ride Snowboards we bought when the weather was warm
Oops! (we sold when it snowed and got cold).

We've got dozens of folders on I-O-M-G
And some more on the new I-O-M
"Inside trading alerts" are the talk of the day
From the shorts, seems it's Us against Them.

"IOMEGA IS DEAD!" reads the post at the top
"An employee has sold all his shares!"
"I told you so, fools", says the Short with a Gloat
"You Longs better start saying your prayers!"

"But he only owned ten", the Bull Fool begins,
"He's the Guy who's the Guard at the Gate!"
This stock will go up, (how I know, I can't tell)
Cover now, Shorts, before it's too late.

There are thousands of messages here to be read
On the ups and the downs of each stock
If we try to discern, we will soon start to learn,
If the Postings are True or a Crock.

Coda:(and none too soon)

So as we all here start on a Shiny New Year,
(If we live through this season of Yule)
Perhaps in the future, if we act real Grown-Up
Some Wise Men might search for a Fool!