Friday, September 6, 1996
A Foolish Fresh Start
By Vineviz

When I got a call from my manager this morning, asking me to meet him in the personnel department, I knew what was coming.

The office had been buzzing for days with the rumors: "Carl said twenty-nine people are being laid-off today," and "The sports department's been cut in half." I knew what was coming.

My manager started off with "There's no easy way to say this" and my heart sank. I felt like saying "Stop there. Just hand me my check, and I'm gone." Unfortunately, it's hard to be witty when you're being told you're no longer employed. Something about being laid-off just kills your sense of humor.

I'd never been fired or laid-off before (unless you count that telephone solicitation gig in college, but I'm PROUD to have failed at telephone solicitation), so this experience has been something of a shock. But it could be worse: I've got six weeks of severance pay and my wife has a steady, well-paying job. And now I don't have to dread returning to work after my upcoming vacation!

But I was proud of myself during the final interview. Spending these countless hours out in Fooldom must be paying off, because pretty much the first words out of my mouth were, "Will I get vestiture in my 401k?" Off course I won't (I wasn't with the company long enough), but I will carry away that $72.93 that I socked away, week in and week out, during my employment. And now I will have the chance to move that money out of my mediocre mutual funds and into a Foolishly managed IRA.

That prospect brings a smile to my face. I loved my 401k, and was glad to have the chance to participate. But I've studied the Beating the Dow variations. I have read both of James O'Shaugnessy's books, studied Peter Lynch and Ken Fisher, and spent hours a day reading the message boards and all the old Fribbles. I have nestled in bed with my daily dose of Investor's Business Daily and laughed at the commentators on CNBC. You don't think I'd listen to their advice, do you?

Over the next few days, with all my new-found free time, I'll probably calculate how much money my 401k's mutual funds lost to the S&P 500 over the past two years, just for fun. Then I'll curse my former employer for setting the vestiture period at three years, and not less. Then, after I get back from Utah, I'll figure out when I can roll that 401k over into an IRA.

Then, it's off to work at the new job I lined up this afternoon.

Transmitted: 9/6/96