Thursday, May 9, 1996
Great-Grandpop Wasn't a Foolish Man (or Just How Old is Howie Anyway?)
by MF Runkle

My sister and I finally finished up dividing my grandmother's vast estate (about $1,500 dollars worth). Among the treasures were my great grandfather's investments, including a load of old stock certificates. Everybody dreams of finding an old stock certificate from a company like Coca Cola dating back to 1920 that's worth about a jillion dollars. Let's see what I got. Hey! Quick Pay Gold Mines, Inc., 500 shares at 1 cent each. I wonder if I'm rich. . .

It seems that Great-Grandpop did a lot of investing with R.L. Shoemaker. Mr. Shoemaker sold him oil and gas leases in Mississippi. As we all know, Mississippi is a major oil and gas producing state. At least Mr. Shoemaker said so. I don't want to say anything bad about Mississippi---I've been there, and the people are nice. The state is pretty, too. But have you ever heard of a Mississippi Oil Tycoon?

What else do I have here? Let's see, some deeds to property in Colorado dating back to the 1890's---I wonder if I still own that, and if so can I afford the back taxes? Oh well, I'll let that sleeping dog lie for now.

I have some stock here in Consolidated Enterprises. Did they consolidate enterprises or were they enterprising consolidations? Hmm, Great Grandpop pooled his stock, but a sufficient number of stockholders didn't participate. They returned his stock, but kept the money he sent. They gave him another oil and gas lease though. Oh, this was in Texas. Maybe I am rich. No, I doubt it.

Oh! Look at this. . . the Lucille Black Sand Company and Parker Methods. It seems they were developing a magnet to mine 500 lbs of black sand. It was a method for magnetic gold mining. My great-grandfather was to get 15% royalties, and for this he invested $4,000 in 1940. Ouch! Now I admit I don't know a lot about gold mining. However, I tested (just to make sure) some gold in my wedding ring, and it is NOT attracted to magnets. So, either my ring is a fake, or Great-Grandpop was ripped off.

My great-grandfather was a remarkable man in many ways. He became a respected telegrapher, in spite of being physically handicapped. His one failing, though, was that he wanted to get rich quick. Those two words don't belong in the same sentence, as these old stock certificates (suitable for framing) attest. Just think if he had invested that $4,000 in a real company like GE, General Motors, or Coca Cola. . . He didn't, though, and when he died in the early fifties, he died broke.

The fact is, my great-grandfather was "Howied" (see earlier Fribbles on Howies and other Scoundrels). He obviously was on "sucker lists" that are circulated among con artists. The scams of the 30's seem silly today, but how will the Wireless Cable scams of today look 60 years from now? Two things are in common then, now, and in the future: gullibility and greed. If my ancestor had been Foolish, and had done a little research (a toy magnet and hopefully his wedding ring would do), he'd have kept his money.

If George P. Runkle had used Foolish Principles (which existed before the Motley Fools, just like Howies), he might have increased his money. It may not have bought him a mansion on Massachusetts Avenue, but he wouldn't have died at the Washington D.C. Home For The Incurables (that was the real name of the institution) either.

That in itself is a pretty good reason to be Foolish.

Transmitted: 5/9/96