Public Humiliation
by MF Swaggart

Trudging slowly up the stairs to the stage, Bogey grabbed the microphone. As he got on stage with all the Fools clapping in the audience, Bogey raised his hand to quiet the crowd. In a weak, choked up voice, Bogey started to speak. "Don't cheer for me broth"ahs" and sist"ahs" for I am a soul tortured! I am not worthy to stand before yooouu," he bellowed!

With face distorted and crocodile tears evident, Bogey lamented aloud "I HAVE SINNED!!!" he cried in his best Jimmy Swaggart drawl. The crowd gasped. "What hast thou done to forsake us Brother Bogey?" yelled a Fool from the audience. "I have eaten of the forbidden fruit! I have danced with the devil himself! I have stared death in the face! I have blasphemed! I have been unfaithful! AND, I have done this all in one day!!

Women covered their children's ears and old ladies fainted in the aisles. Men clenched their fists in anger and animals began to speak in tongues. Over a hushed silence, (as opposed to those really loud silences), Bogey lamented that he had bought shares of Timberland (TBL) on---ackkk---takeover rumors. A sworn-to-the-death hater of takeover rumors, Bogey had fallen by the wayside. "No sooner did I complete the wicked transaction than did the devil himself, Dan Dorfman, rear his serpent head and bash my beloved TBL!"

Bogey, down a smooth 38% on TBL in a matter of days, wept before his peers, but managed to squeak out: "Please broth"ahs" and sist"ahs," be generous and dig DEEEEP tonight, for there WILL be a collection. . . .

In a moment of quiet reflection, Bogey remembered that we all make mistakes. Too many times we read about the Monday-morning quarterback geniuses who bought XYZ 20 points ago. This time, Bogey took it on the chin hard and wanted to share his humiliation publicly. Just reinforces his belief that you should never buy on takeover speculation!!!!