The Family Fool Quiz

Is your family Foolish? Answer the following questions and see how you do!

1) At mealtime, your family gives thanks for:
a. Real-time online stock quotes.
b. Coke cans with two-for-one admission passes to Six Flags Great Adventures theme park.
c. Life's many blessings, including health, shelter, friends, food, and 10.5% average annual returns for the stock market.

2) What distracts you the most when driving?
a. Your fifth grader's whining about CAI Wireless's business model.
b. Your fifth grader's pet tarantula, which keeps climbing onto the dashboard.
c. Scenery.

3) The lesson about credit cards that your kids have learned from you is:
a. That cashiers like to cut them up.
b. That they can be used to jimmy open the gate to your neighbor's pool.
c. That they can be a dangerous temptation to spend more than you have.

4) On Halloween, your family gives trick-or-treaters:
a. Hot stock tips.
b. Polished rocks.
c. Candy bars.

5) You think that buying life insurance policies on your kids:
a. Makes a lot of sense, because no one can ever have too much insurance.
b. Is a great idea because the whole family performs in a highwire tightrope act.
c. Isn't really worth it, as there's no income stream to protect.

6) When Linda & Steve Heard paid $10,001 for a "Tickle-Me Elmo" doll, your family:
a. Shorted Linda & Steve Heard Inc.
b. Offered $10,002 for it.
c. Looked into buying shares of the company that made and sold the doll.

7) What would you most like your daughter to grow up to be?
a. A day trader.
b. The person who works at the TV station, raising the volume when commercials come on.
c. Financially solvent.

8) If you discovered your teen was into naked calls and pork belly futures you would:
a. Ask her for some trading tips.
b. Brag about it in your annual holiday letter.
c. Arrange an intervention.

9) You think that paying off your mortgage early is:
a. A darn fine idea. Why spend an extra cent paying interest?
b. A terrible idea. You actually enjoy mailing out those checks each week. You're even negotiating for a higher interest rate with your bank.
c. May or may not be a good idea, depending on your circumstances.

10) You think that "Drips" are:
a. A hot new investment vehicle -- the Derivative Retro-Interest Principal Strip.
b. Easily remedied with decongestant.
c. Dividend Reinvestment Plans, which let you invest small amounts of money in companies while bypassing brokers.

11) You let your kids watch "John Murphy's Tech Talk" on CNBC:
a. Yes.
b. No.
c. Who's John Murphy?

12) Of the following, the most important lesson that children must learn is:
a. To remember to account for taxes when they annualize returns.
b. To buff the wax to a high luster.
c. To be respectful of their elders.

Bzzzzz -- time's up! Let's see how you did. Look over your answers. Do you see a lot of As? Bs? Or Cs? Well, if you broke our secret code, you probably noticed that each letter corresponds to a different profile.

If you scored mainly As, then we're afraid that you have some dangerous misconceptions about money and investing. You're not too Foolish and you might, in fact, be putting your family in jeopardy. (Not the game show -- but the poor house. Well, actually you may get a shot at appearing on Wink Martindale's game show -- Debt.)

If you scored mainly Bs, then... uh... hmm... we suspect you might be a lot of fun at parties.

BUT... if you scored mainly Cs, then congratulations! Your family's rather Foolish. You understand some personal finance and investing basics and you don't seem likely to let money matters consume your life. You take the time to smell the roses along with the dirty diapers.

Regardless of how you scored, we think you'll find a lot of useful, entertaining and important stuff here within the walls of The Family Fool. Check us out and let us know what you think.

Fool on!